


at night i have wings

by goblinsmacked



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels, Developing Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Poetry, M/M, References to Religion, angst but just a little bit, jaemin is going through it, thats pretty much it, they're angels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 17:36:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20067913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goblinsmacked/pseuds/goblinsmacked
Summary: the trials and tribulations of being an angel with no wings.or, Jaemin's tired of living in a human body, Jeno just wants to enjoy the little things.





	at night i have wings

**Author's Note:**

> hey! this is my unwanted take on angel!nomin,,,,,,, its v simple and i wrote it all last night and surprisingly felt good enough to post it. hope u like it!

**you wouldn't believe what once or**   
**twice i have seen. i'll just tell you this:**

**only if there are angels in your head will you**   
**ever, possibly see one.**

"We shouldn't be out at this time. It's too risky."

Looking down at his feet, there's everything - quite literally. Buildings, sirens, so so much light and noise. Chaos, but still beautiful in Jeno's eyes.

"It's not like our wings are out. Our human form looks ordinary enough." Jeno points it out, legs swinging from side to side, occasionally throwing a few pebbles down, to just watch them disappear in a second or so.

Jaemin sighs, _"Too_ ordinary. I just wanna squish my way out of this body sometimes, by the ears." He gets up, body dangling from the skyscraper by his feet, he wouldn't do anything to hurt it, he knows how far humans can go. It's just for the thrill.

"Get out by the ears you say?" Jeno looks up at him, then looks down at the younger boy's untied shoes. "This sounds unpleasant. Why don't you just open your mouth really wide and fly out of it?"

Jaemin stops swinging his body and looks down at Jeno, eyes wide, mouth in a funny shape. Jeno doesn't recall ever seeing that expression in movies. "Can you do that?"

He laughs sympathetically, "No, Nana, I don't think so."

Jaemin jumps to the floor, sneakers scratching the ground as he throws his hands in the air, looking up at the sky as if he's condemning it for the worst of crimes. "Then what's the point? If I can't fly, can't be who I truly am, what really is the point?"

"Hey… you know She sent us down here for a reason."Jeno answers, concerned. Or at least with the softest voice he can to soothe the other boy. "We just can't quite tell yet."

"When will we then? After 60 years and our human forms look squishy and buttery? When we finally forget about how life used to be?" Jaemin answers back at him, snarky. Biting back at Jeno's odd reassurance.

"You won't forget, will you Jaemin?" he turns back to where the other's standing, watching his back, just where big plumpy feathers used to stick out. "You can't and you know it. It's like riding a bicycle."

Jaemin turns to look at him then, biting his lip from curiosity, "I've never done that, actually."

_"Oh,_ we have plans for tomorrow then."

"Riding a bike looks like it'd be better if I could spread my wings."

There he goes again.

The thing about Jaemin is that he can't quit his old habits, it's as hard as it'd be for a decade long smoker, that's Jaemin to his previous angel life. It's not like he isn't one anymore - he's not a fallen one either, just got transferred. Like humans do with their jobs and stuff.

Jeno admits it isn't easy, it's not like he was born fully comprehensive of his duties as an angel, it just kind of grown on him through time: he has a mission, he was chosen for it, someone trusts him, _She_ trusts him. It's motivational enough to make him get up every morning, day by day, even if it's corny. It's undoubtedly corny.

"But then you'd just catch flight and it wouldn't be riding - just flying."

"That wouldn't be bad." he answers with a straight face, moving his arms in circle motions, hand on his shoulder as is he's testing if everything's on place. "They need a stretch."

"Nana," Jeno almost whimpers, "you don't have them on right now, remember?"

"Oh," he touches his back lightly, arms stretched over his head, fingers trailing the place where his wings used to be. If you focus enough, and on very rare occasions, you can feel the ghost of it under your touch, the feathers brushing the tip of your fingers like they're there, ready to fully open.

It's been a few months since Jaemin last felt his wings - a few years since he last had them, entirely, not just mentally. They were sent too young, to fit in completely, disguise themselves between the humans. _'The full experience'_ Jaemin likes to say.

"I'm still not used to it, you know that, right Jen?"

"Yes, Nana. It's okay," he sighs, "you're okay."

This makes Jeno recall long nights spent awake, with a sobbing Jaemin on his lap going on and on about how unfair life was, how zero to none dignity he had - _'an angel with no wings is no angel, Jeno'_ or just how much he wishes he could've been a seraphim angel, born with six wings in total, so it'd have been too hard to suppress him into an humanoid form.

There won't ever be enough consolation for Jaemin, Jeno has figured that out pretty fast, there won't ever be just the right set of words to make it all seem easier for the younger boy. When you take from someone the only thing they hold preciously to their hearts - you leave them with nothing. Not even an ounce of comfort.

The only thing last for Jeno to do is try to take his mind off things, take him to get ice-cream (mint chocolate is his favorite, _'What is it about humans and their needs to eat toothpaste-flavored everything?'),_ go to the movies (except religious themed ones), and as for right now, biking.

"Hold tightly, Nana. We don't want no bruised knees."

Jaemin gently puts his hands on Jeno's shoulders, the hips would be too risky, and crossing his arms in front of his belly to intimate - there's no problem in that, of course, it'd just sidetrack the other one. "Ready?" Jeno asks, pedaling without turning his head to look at Jaemin, the way his fingers clasped in his jacket was enough.

At first it feels like opening the window of a car during a rainy day, the cold wet air hitting your face in a rather uncomfortable way, glueing your eyelashes shut. After a minute or so, when Jeno's fast enough to stop his legs for a bit though, that's when it's full magic kicks in.

He can feel Jaemin's enjoying it by the way he glued his face to Jeno's back with what he could only imagine is a smile all over his face. His fingers slipped to Jeno's waist, but they don't have time to think about all of that right now.

This is as good as flying as they can go, as fast as falling from a cloud but not fast enough as entering the gates of Heaven at full speed. It won't ever be, Jaemin knows that. No amount of chemicals could match the feeling of glowing on top of a star, no radioactivity could replace the warmth of his halo just barely touching his hair. Nothing.

Biking is quite good though.

"I like this, Jeno." Jaemin says after they come to a stop, untangling his hands from the other boy's lap, placing his feet on the floor for the first time in what felt like hours.

Jeno smiles back at him, letting the bike fall with a metallic sound on the sidewalk, "I knew you would."

The unsaid truth between them is still left floating in the air, sticking like bubblegum to their guts: _It's almost like it used to be, right? It's almost as thrilling, isn't it Jaemin? Isn't it Jeno?_

None of them could ever answer. Hell - maybe they're adrenaline junkies, maybe the human body could never give them what they truly want from it. Jaemin's always a second away from breaking all his bones in an attempt to escape anyways.

"Let's go home?" Jeno softly proposes, the stars finally starting to show up, looking down on both of them as a bundle of protective mothers. Time went too fast, Jeno thinks, it goes too fast by his side.

Jaemin sighs, and Jeno swears he sees a faint spark come out of his mouth as he does so, like someone just flickered a lighter inside him and he's counting seconds to catch on fire. Maybe it's just the cold making him see things that aren't there. Maybe it's just the cold and just a tiny bit of love. That's about it, Jeno figures.

"Let's go."

**Author's Note:**

> [sips from a big cup of sacrilege and badly researched catholic history] so how did you like it?


End file.
